When the human condition is in conflict with itself

Wow, I just read grrm.livejournal.com blog and it reminded me of how I used to write. Just as myself and not another “list” or really thought out piece. So here’s my start to get back to journaling.

I came across another article about stories– the only stories worth reading are the ones when the human condition is in conflict with itself. You have a set of ideals and yet you’re torn with how you feel.

For example, last night a patient was complaining of pain and her nurse gave her pain medication. 15 minutes later, she’s asking for help. Her nurse is across the room and she saw me sitting at nurse’s station. I knew that her nurse had already attended to her so I ignored her (wow that sounds bad but I was busy catching up!!). After she called 3 more times I walk over and ask her, “what’s the problem?”

“Why didn’t you come over right away?” She probed.
“Your nurse just spoke to you. What’s going on?”
“I’m in pain!”
“Did you tell your nurse?”
“Yes. He gave me pain medications.”
I overheard him say that he gave the pain meds 15 minutes ago. “Ok, then you have to let it kick in.”
“Yes but it hurts!!!”
“Ok but you still have to wait for it to kick in!” I thought to myself, why made her think that complaining to me would make any difference?

I felt sympathetic for her because face it, who likes to be in pain? But I felt the issue was already addressed and that’s nothing left for me to do. Is that wrong? Did I lose my patience?

She ended up falling asleep.

As a nurse, I feel compassion and empathy but there’s only so much to go around. I pour it all on my patients and any patient that has a 3 alarm star going off… Or I’ll help out another nurse “boost” a patient up in the bed. But that’s about it.

Posted in ICU Nursing, Journal, Nursing.
  • Patients don’t care how much we, as nurses, know so much as how we, as nurses, care. In one clinical rotation, a nursing professor told me, “What you do with all the pumps and gadgets is ‘monkey work’. How you care from your heart for the patient, that is nursing.” I have never forgot that. One thing greater than pain medication is the selflessness of a nurse’s heart. Press on young lady and always seek out the heart of a patient for they are all unique and their needs are varied.

    • Caring from the heart is nursing. I like that. Thanks for the reminder!